I Don't Wanna Die
by The Real Tony Stark
Summary: A hunter's conflict between regrets and acceptance. Dean doesn't want to go out just yet, but with no possible solution in his sight Hell's a prominent part of his future. Extends on 3.10, "Dream a Little Dream of Me."
_Yet another episode tag, this time for Dean. Extending on the end of 3.10 "Dream a Little Dream of Me", this takes after the thoughts of Dean about his predicament and his destination of Hell._

* * *

The silence seemed to stretch between the pair for the next few miles, each too consumed in each of their separate thoughts to comment of the others' absence. It wasn't until the moments turned to minutes, and the minutes turned to ages, that there was any sort of stirring notable that broke the tension; the tension he hadn't realised was there

"Sam."

Dean could just about see his brother's concerned gaze turned his way but didn't make a move to meet it. Instead, he kept his eyes on the road; moving forward, moving on. that was his way. The Winchester way.

"Yeah?" Sam prompted after another hundred feet or so passed beneath their feet.

Still, Dean kept his eyes away, clearing his throat with a grunt. How he was going to say the next lines..? Well, it didn't come naturally; that much he knew.

"I've been doing some thinking," he began. "And…" A beat. "Well, the thing is… I don't wanna die."

Dean risked a glance at the younger beside him, his eyes however only shifting to the corners. What he saw though, with Sam's expression softening with sadness, made him want to take it all back.

"I don't want t' go to Hell."

There, he said it. He managed to force it out. _So much for no chick-flick moments…_

And then, silence. God-awful silence filling the car, beating down on Dean's shoulders. He needed a distraction, any distraction, just to keep things at bay as he moved on with things. Delaying and dwindling never solved any cases and never ganked any creatures, so why the hell did he have to? He was going to Hell; there, straightforward and to the punch. He had a destination. No lingering on things he couldn't change.

It was _his_ way.

 _The Winchester Way._

Except Dad didn't follow that way ei— _Shut up!_

"All right." That was all that came from Sam. "All right. Yeah. We'll find a way to save you."

Dean turned his head to look over, properly now. It was surprisingly easy for him now, as strange as that was. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"Okay good."

His voice came out a little shaky.

But it earned a nod from Sam: a reassuring nod. It was amazing how such small things could go a long way, and made Dean almost worry-free at the sight. _Almost_.

 _You can't escape me, Dean._

The past always caught up, even if it happened just that day.

 _You're gonna die._

Especially then.

 _And this? This is what you're gonna become!_

A shudder passed through the Hell-bound hunter and he glanced away, smile gone. Only now it was replaced by a fearful grimace. Whatever was down there, whatever was downstairs in that freakin', literal Hellhole, Dean didn't want to meet it. Not anymore was he willingly accepting of his punishment from saving Sam.

He was going the same way as Dad. Even in death, Dean was following in the footsteps of a certain John Winchester.

 _Your car? That's Dad's. Your favorite leather jacket? Dad's. Your music? Dad's. Do you even have an original thought?_

 _Alright, inner-demon... thing_ , grumbled Dean internally. _You win. Go ahead and add this to my list of things like Dad._

 _I don't care._

But as much as he tried to act all macho, cocky, even untouchable, the emotions were just another thing behind the damn, just waiting until it all became too much to hold back. The wave produced would be too strong.

* * *

A hunter's end is never happy. It was painful, it was gruesome, it was cruel. Dean still went to Hell once his year was up, and the struggle was there every step of the way. but would he change it? Would he change a single thing? _No_. Samm'y was safe because of him. And if _Sammy_ was safe, Dean was fine.

Yeah, a hunter's life was hard.


End file.
